Going back to my recent post challenging the Trustworthiness of Beards scale (i.e. Not all full beards are trustworthy. Why are you going to pigeonhole a facial hair style like that?), I'd like to expand on my argument with the "What Does Your Beard Say?" chart, as promised.
Please click the picture for a full-size version. Explanations below because I couldn't fit the whole thing in the chart. I worked very hard on this.
Beard 1: My husband Matt
His beard says: I like to party, but I also have a serious side. [author's note: this was my first drawing... I didn't think to start coloring in their faces until later.]
Beard 2: Spencer Pratt
His beard says: My beard is almost the same color as my skin. Why do I even have a beard? I probably suck.
Beard 3: Sayid Jarrah
His beard says: I keep my beard short in case I need to attack someone unexpectedly.
Beard 4: Rasputin
His beard says: Look how scarrrrry I am. I'm not even totally sure what my role in history was but I look terrifying!
Beard 5: Zeus
His beard says: I am the king of the gods! You can tell how powerful I am by how my beard blows in the breeze.
Beard 6: Peter Jackson
His beard says: Hello there! I'm very nonthreatening. I love to direct movies about hobbits. Would you care for a cup of tea?
Beard 7: Kimbo Slice
His beard says: I am going to kill you.
Beard 8: Joaquin Phoenix
His beard says: I look unkempt like Peter Jackson but where he seems mildly eccentric, I am just plain crazy! I'm liable to freak out at any moment.
Beard 9: My dad
His beard says: I'm conservative and I like to read books, but I also know some pretty good jokes.
Beard 10: George Clooney
His beard says: We shall let George's beard speak for itself. Can you hear it? Can you?
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