Friday, June 11, 2010

Beards, Part III


Going back to my recent post challenging the Trustworthiness of Beards scale (i.e. Not all full beards are trustworthy. Why are you going to pigeonhole a facial hair style like that?), I'd like to expand on my argument with the "What Does Your Beard Say?" chart, as promised.
Please click the picture for a full-size version. Explanations below because I couldn't fit the whole thing in the chart. I worked very hard on this.


Beard 1: My husband Matt
His beard says: I like to party, but I also have a serious side. [author's note: this was my first drawing... I didn't think to start coloring in their faces until later.]
Beard 2: Spencer Pratt
His beard says: My beard is almost the same color as my skin. Why do I even have a beard? I probably suck.
Beard 3: Sayid Jarrah
His beard says: I keep my beard short in case I need to attack someone unexpectedly.
Beard 4: Rasputin
His beard says: Look how scarrrrry I am. I'm not even totally sure what my role in history was but I look terrifying!
Beard 5: Zeus
His beard says: I am the king of the gods! You can tell how powerful I am by how my beard blows in the breeze.
Beard 6: Peter Jackson
His beard says: Hello there! I'm very nonthreatening. I love to direct movies about hobbits. Would you care for a cup of tea?
Beard 7: Kimbo Slice
His beard says: I am going to kill you. 
Beard 8: Joaquin Phoenix
His beard says: I look unkempt like Peter Jackson but where he seems mildly eccentric, I am just plain crazy! I'm liable to freak out at any moment.
Beard 9: My dad
His beard says: I'm conservative and I like to read books, but I also know some pretty good jokes.
Beard 10: George Clooney
His beard says: We shall let George's beard speak for itself. Can you hear it? Can you?

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