Important Questions Answered

A friend IM'd me today with a pressing question. Please take the following conversation with a grain of salt. I promise we aren't really this juvenile and ignorant in real life. At least I hope not.

friend: If someone is driving a hearse can they ride in the HOV lane? My husband and I can't decide.
me: HAHAHAHHA
me: Hmm... I say yes.
friend: Really...
me: Well would the hearse be carrying a body? Or just an empty hearse?
friend: Carrying a body.
me: I have a similar question about pregnant women. Does a fetus count as a passenger?
friend: Ha... does it?
me: I doubt it... but what about babies? Does a baby count as a passenger, or is it only people who are old enough to drive?
friend: I don't know. You have made this even harder.
me: Let's check the Virginia DOT website.
friend: Ok.
me: Straight from the VDOT website: "I'm pregnant. Do I count as one person or two?" hahaha.
me: "In the HOV world, you're one person. However, babies of any age count as a person."
me: But there is nothing about a hearse!
me: According to snopes.com, hearse drivers transporting dead bodies cannot use HOV lanes.
friend: That's too funny.
me: I still don't see why babies count as passengers. They're not really carpooling if they can't even drive themselves. Most babies don't even have jobs.
me: What about those expecting mother parking places?
me: Do you have to be like REALLY pregnant to use those or can you just be a little bit pregnant?
friend: Or can you just be a little chubby and use them?
friend: I see men do it all the time.
friend: It's not like someone can really check.
me: Haha well if it's a man they can!
friend: Nope, wasn't there just a pregnant man?
friend: www.people.com/people/article/0,,20344136,00.html
me: Good point!
me: He's pregnant for a third time?! How did I miss number 2?!?!
me: Did he get a c-section?
friend: Ummmm
me: Come on, I can't be the only one who wondered that!
friend: Did he have EVERYTHING transferred???
me: It only said he kept his reproductive organs, but I don't know what that means.
me: There is SO MUCH that was not covered in sex ed!
friend: LOL!
friend: I wonder if they cover this stuff now in sex ed
friend: Hmm
friend: How do they add the piece?
me: HAHAHAHA "the piece"
friend: Ha.
friend: Yes.
friend: The piece.
me: Haha I don't know. I guess they borrow skin from somewhere else.
friend: Borrow means they are going to give it back. Something tells me that they don't give this back.
me: ....
friend: This conversation has taken an awful left turn.
me: Haha, I know. But you were the one that brought up the pregnant man.
friend: Sorry.
me: I forgive you.

Just trying to get the facts here, folks. Knowledge is power.