Loyal Order of Water Buffalo

This morning, as I was digging through our spare change dish for coffee money (yes, my life has gotten to that point, thank you for noticing) I discovered a small, bronze American Legion pin. Now, I really don't have any idea what the American Legion is, hence the title of this post. My experience with this sort of club is limited to Fred Flintstone, who, for the record, looks pretty good in that furry blue hat. I am obviously not a member of the American Legion, and I know without having to ask that my fiancé Matt is not a member either (he was kicked out of the Cub Scouts... I wish I was lying). So the existence of this pin in my house can only mean one of three things.

1. I have developed multiple personality disorder, and one of my personalities actually DID join the American Legion. This seems plausible, except for the fact that I'm a big fan of pins, so I can't see why any of my personalities would have just tossed it in with the spare change. I mean, I'm wearing the pin right now and I still don't know what the American Legion is, so it seems unlikely that any part of my consciousness would have given up the opportunity to wear a little flare.

Hello, it goes with my outfit.

2. My intended has taken to a life of crime in order to pay for life of luxury. He broke into someone's car to pilfer their loose change, and inadvertently picked up a snazzy little pin in the process. This scenario also seems unlikely because a) Matt is an honest man, and b) if he were to steal, he damn well better come back with something a little better than a few quarters.

3. The obvious answer: a benevolent old man has been stealthily breaking into our home and depositing his spare change into a dish in the living room. This last time around, he accidentally dropped his American Legion pin in with his weekly donation of 37 cents. He's kind of like the tooth fairy for adults, only we don't have to lose any teeth (thank God... oral health is really important to me). I mean, this is the only scenario that makes sense. I guess I will leave the pin out on the coffee table for him next week. But is it so much to ask that he starts giving us dollars? Come on, sir.