Not-So-Grand Entrance

A lot of women claim to have been planning their weddings since they were little girls. I believe this is bullshit, but of course I'd never say that to a bride-to-be because them bitches be crazy! The only part of my wedding I can honestly say that I've ever envisioned is the grand entrance to the reception. The problem is, prior to meeting Matt, I always imagined my entrance as a choreographed, Broadway-quality performance of Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now," complete with light show, bedazzled costumes, and shirtless male dancers. The main issue I see with this concept is -- wait, let me stop myself there. There is no issue with this concept. It's brilliant. But the reasons it won't work out for our wedding are two-fold. Number one, I failed to include any part for my future groom in this performance (remember I said it was before I met Matt, so don't judge), and number two (heh heh, number two), it's not really very wedding-y. At all.

So, because I want Matt to actually attend his own wedding reception, I've agreed to compromise. We're going to choose a song that we both like, and have it played by the DJ as she announces us. No, there won't be any light shows or dancers, but I'm sure it will still be quite lovely.

Unfortunately, Matt has already vetoed the following suggestions:

• "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by The Darkness, because when used at a wedding, this song supposedly portends the failure of the marriage (I can't remember the logic behind that claim, sadly, because I'm sure it was hilarious.)
• Anything by Lady Gaga. For no good reason at all. Unfair! And I will make certain the DJ plays copious amounts of Gaga later in the evening to make up for it. 
• "Don't Stop Believin'" as performed by the cast of Glee. Deemed "too gay."
• "Time to Pretend" by MGMT, because apparently the lyrics "I'll move to Paris/Shoot some heroin/And fuck with the stars" are not wedding-appropriate.
• "Get in the Ring" by Guns n' Roses. I seriously cannot think of a better entrance song, but this one was vetoed because it has every swear word ever invented in it, and it might offend some guests.

For what it's worth, Matt's sole suggestion for an entrance song is the theme to Family Feud. This makes me laugh and cringe at the same time. And it also makes me think about Richard Dawson, which is a thought I want to avoid on my wedding day. So for now it's back to the drawing board. I'm sure we'll come up with something suitably awesome, even if it's not as good as my Queen dance number.