Things Colleen Can't Really Do

About a year ago, I received a frantic 1:00 a.m. voicemail from my little sister. Thinking it might be something important (e.g., car accident, burglary, flesh-eating bacteria), I listened to the message right away, apparently deemed it not worthy of coming to complete consciousness for, and fell back asleep. It wasn't until late afternoon the next day that I remembered the call at all. Luckily, I had the presence of mind, even in my half-asleep state, to have saved the message for later enjoyment:

"Emmie! Oh my God! I have human echolocation! I was trying to fall asleep, and I started tapping on my pillow, and I realized I could SEE my fingers moving, even though my eyes were covered! Okay, bye!"

Yes, apparently, Colleen had discovered that she has the same abilities as a bat -- or to be more specific, as superhero Daredevil, as masterfully portrayed by Ben Affleck in the 2003 film of the same name. (Incidentally, why wouldn't Batman have echolocation instead? Doesn't that make a lot more sense?)

I'm not suggesting that human echolocation is impossible. In fact, prior to Colleen's discovery, I had seen a really fascinating video about a teenager who had lost his eyes as a toddler, but is able to "see" by making a series of clicking noises with his tongue. This kid is amazing.



My sister is amazing too, in other ways... like she makes a really good grilled cheese sandwich. She does not, however, have the talent of human echolocation. In my opinion, anyway. I'm sure she'll have something to say when she sees this post. But do we really believe that the girl who claims that she is a Tuvan throat singer also has echolocational abilities? I think not.